The art of coexisting with differences to ensure a stable and harmonious relationship
Introduction:
Every person has their own unique nature, and there may be noticeable differences between you and your partner during the engagement period. These differences are not necessarily a problem but can be an opportunity for learning and growth together. However, how can you handle these differences in a way that ensures relationship stability and leads to a successful marriage?
Part 1: Accepting Differences Instead of Resisting Them
No partner is 100% identical
It's natural to have differences in thinking, habits, and lifestyle.
Don't expect to find someone who agrees with you on everything; a healthy relationship is based on harmony, not conformity.
Understanding the Reasons for Differences
Is the difference due to different upbringing, cultural background, or life experiences?
Once you understand the reason, it will be easier to handle it with awareness and patience.
Focusing on the Positives
Instead of focusing on the things that bother you, try to see the positive aspects in your partner.
Perhaps your differences complement each other, making you stronger as a couple.
Part 2: Developing Understanding and Communication Skills
Good Listening Instead of Arguing
When your partner talks about their opinion or position, listen without interrupting or judging them.
Try to understand their point of view before expressing your own opinion.
Expressing Your Feelings Without Attacking
Instead of saying “You always make this mistake,” use expressions like “I feel uncomfortable when this happens.”
A calm approach helps convey your feelings without creating a conflict.
Avoiding Imposing Changes on Your Partner
Don't try to force your partner to change to become a version of you, but encourage them to develop themselves naturally.
Everyone changes over time, but it should come from within and not as a result of external pressure.
Part 3: Finding Balanced Solutions
Setting Clear Boundaries
If there are fundamental differences that affect the relationship, discuss them and determine what can be compromised and what cannot.
Some issues are negotiable, while there are core values that should not be compromised.
Agreement on How to Handle Conflicts
Instead of getting into repeated arguments, set rules on how to manage disputes.
For example, agree to talk immediately when a problem arises instead of remaining silent or overreacting.
Looking for Shared Activities
Spending time together in enjoyable activities can help reduce tensions caused by differences.
Try traveling, learning new skills together, or even practicing a shared sport.
Part 4: When Do Differences Become a Threat to the Relationship?
When Differences Become a Constant Source of Conflict
If you are constantly arguing about the same issues, there may be a fundamental incompatibility that requires rethinking the relationship.
When There is a Difference in Core Values
Some differences can be managed, but if there is a large gap in core values such as religion, morals, or priorities, it can be a major obstacle.
When You Feel You are Sacrificing Your Happiness to Maintain the Relationship
If you are always the one who compromises and takes responsibility to keep the relationship, you may need to reevaluate the sustainability of this pattern.
Conclusion Differences during the engagement period are not necessarily a sign of relationship failure, but they can be an opportunity to learn understanding and communication skills. The most important thing is mutual respect, a willingness to find common solutions, and the ability to adapt to your partner without losing yourself. If you are able to manage differences wisely, you will have a great chance of building a stable and happy marriage.